Becky’s spinach and egg white frittata died so this glorious brunch masterpiece could live.
No one likes the person who brings some Weight Watchers bullshit to the potluck brunch. Listen, I dragged my ass out of bed at 10am to pound mimosas and eat enough cholesterol to give a subway tunnel a heart attack. So lets do this.
- Crescent roll dough (in the tube)
- Pre-cooked breakfast sausage
- Syrup
- A bottle of champagne and a few teaspoons of orange juice
- DO NOT prepare any of your ingredients at your own house. This dish is a power move meant to shame those who spent an hour slaving over their egg bake. (Bonus points for showing up with all the ingredients in a Kroger bag.)
- Find the host’s oven and start belittling the other dishes that may or may not be warming/cooking in there. Set the oven to 350 and make some room on the rack. Remark how, “these puppies need some room to breathe.”
- Pop your dough tube.
- Pop your champagne.
- Roll the dough around your sausages and place them on a non-stick baking sheet.
- Roll your eyes at the person who brought a fruit plate.
- Steal some fruit for your champagne.
- Brush or drizzle maple syrup on the top of your pigs in a blanket and pop them in the oven for 14-17 minutes.
- Bask in the unrelenting glory of a job well done.
PSA: There is no picture for this post. Get over it.
Crass Cooking with Jeremy 