My inspiration for this blog is quite simple.
Hate.
I hate everything about food blogs.
No, Karen, I don’t care that your poorly behaved children literally shit themselves at the sight of broccoli. The fact that you have to lather it in a gourmet cheese sauce and threaten to launch their iPad off the deck to get them to eat it does not make you a good parent. Maybe you shouldn’t have given them the upper hand by letting them run roughshod over you for the past ten years. Hit ’em with your new (OMG so cute) Williams Sonoma spatula when they misbehave and they’ll either fall in line or call CPS. Either way, we get to stop hearing about them. Win/Win.
No, Denise, you will not save your morbidly obese husband from a massive coronary just because you dosed him up with maple syrup Brussels sprouts once. He has completely let himself go. Take the kids and move out already.
Rachel, I swear to God.. If I see, “you guys totally need to try the InstantPot. Game changerrrrr” ONE MORE FUCKING TIME..
Anyways, 99% of food bloggers just use the first three-quarters of the recipe purely for venting and digression. Here’s a thought; go to Barnes and Noble, buy a fancy leather-bound journal, and stash it in your bedside table. Because the number of people who give a shit about what you write won’t change.
Let’s be real, most of the time I Google recipes I’m already at the grocery store trying to figure out how to piece together the other half of an ingredient list with the shit I still have in my fridge at home. I don’t have time for Bridget to write a Goddamn thesis on how tomato sauce gives poor Terry acid reflux. GIVE ME THE BASICS!
And that is what I promise to do in this blog. Ingredients, Instructions, and (sometimes) Insults.
Crass Cooking with Jeremy 
I’m trying to formulate something clever and snarky in reply. I agree 100% that I really don’t want to hear about how someone came up with a recipe while they folded their hands around their steaming mug of hot chocolate before the kids got up! I don’t want to scroll down down down until they get finished with their private journal entry. My husband and I were laughing all the way through the first post of yours! Well done.
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Strong start, Jer. Looking forward to what you have to say on here. I mean, I won’t cook any of it because… cooking. But still love to hear your random thoughts on all of the things.
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